From 1stAdmPAO

Customer: “Hello, I would like to place an order.”
Operator: “May I have your multi-purpose card number first, sir?”

Customer: “It's uh… hold on…it's 6102 0499 9845-5461 0.”
Operator: “Thank you. You are Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Wood Avenue, your home number is 555 999-2366, your office 555-999-7645, and your Mobile is 555-266 2566. Which number are you calling from now sir?

Customer: “Home. How did you get all my phone numbers?”
Operator: “We are connected to the system, sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza?”
Operator: “That's not a good idea sir”

Customer: “How come?”
Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure, and even higher cholesterol, sir”

Customer: “Well… what do you recommend then?”
Operator: “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator: “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week, sir.”

Customer: “OK I give up. Give me three family-size ones. How much will that cost?”
Operator: “That should be enough for your family of ten, sir. The total is $49.99.”

Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator: “I'm afraid you must pay us cash, sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 past due. That's not including the late payment charges on your mortgage loan, sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.”
Operator: “You can't, sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawals for one day.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long before they will be here?”
Operator: “About 45 minutes, sir, but if you can't wait you can always come pick it up on your motor scooter.”

Customer: “What motor scooter?”
Operator: “According to the details in the system, you own a scooter, with registration number E1123.

Customer: ” *'! *%^**%I7*”
Operator: “Better watch your language, sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman?”

Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: “Is there anything else, sir?”

Customer: “Are you sending me the three free bottles of cola, as advertised?”
Operator: “We normally would, sir, but based on your records, you're a diabetic”