During the 2004 national election, our adopted “Poet Laureate” sent the following letter to the editor of the San Antonio Express. “To my utter amazement, they published it!” he reported:
OUT-DUMBING THE DEMS
Good heavens, may wonders never cease! I just read a Jan Jarboe (South Texas Ultralib) column and found myself agreeing with her. Her advice to Democrats that George Bush is not the dummy they think he is reminds me of a good ole' boy from South Alabama who once worked for me.
We were making a product presentation to a military procurement officer who was extremely full of himself and patronizing to us as civilian marketers, talking down to us as if we were entirely ignorant of the system. Offended by his condescension, I thought of explaining that we were intimately familiar with the proper procedures but then thought better of it. It was, after all, my salesman's account, so I should let him handle it.
For thirty minutes he sat there in wide-eyed awe, hanging on to every word of this pompous buffoon's detailed explication of military procurement, interrupting with only an occasional, “Wow,” or “Gee, so that's how it's done.” Knowing my guy was a senior Reserve Navy officer and intimately familiar with this whole process I just sat there and bit my tongue.
When we finally got out in the parking lot, with an order even larger than we had sought, I said, “Jim, why on earth did you put up with that blowhard, like that?” To which he winked, waved the order forms and drawled, “Hey, Boss, sometimes you just gotta out-dumb 'em.”
Ain't it the truth? Just ask Ann Richards. Or Al Gore. (And now John Kerry.)
P.S. - Liberal Democrats love chants; so I have a brand spanking new one for them: “Two! Four! Six! Eight! Never Misunderestimate!
Rereading the letter recently, Vaughn was inspired to write the following poem.
OUT-DUMBED, BY GEORGE!
Did you really believe we're too stupid to see,
How you tried to deceive us with smug sophistry?
Did you actually think we'd accept without thinking,
That our ship of state's hulled, our economy's sinking?
We saw how with help from your media tools,
You picked just the right captain for your ship of fools.
With your Cambodian Admiral at the helm of your boat
You needed an ocean of lies just to keep him afloat.
You put forward no spokesman with a true honest voice
And offered the voters no acceptable choice.
Your party got “jacked” by the loons on the left,
And the rest of you've yet to wake up to the theft.
You let billionaire bandits with a Bolshevik whiff,
Take your “ride” for a drive that went straight off the cliff.
So, do you now blame your loss on these crazies and flakes?
Nope, by Jove, it was Rove - must've messed with the brakes.
Even now that you've lost, you refuse to accept,
That your party's outdated and its leaders inept.
The election is over, and with your masquerades falling
The true YOU we see is truly appalling.
You've nothing but scorn for true faith and belief
Holding up Christianity as some election year thief.
Your apostasy's clear to those Blacks and Hispanics,
Who, next time around, just may be your Titanics.
So now as you sit contemplating your fate,
Sipping modest Chablis, Camembert on your plate,
Just remember your failure in sowing false fears,
And let this burn in your brains for four more long years:
Even owning the press and controlling the tube,
You got your butts whipped by an' ole' Texas rube.
So, keep pondering this 'til your brains are all numbed
Rove didn't outsmart you; you were smartly out-dumbed.
That's gonna stick in your craws 'til you're forced to disgorge,
All you smart liberal wienies just got out-dumbed, by George.
By Russ Vaughn
Proud Red State Retard and former Democrat
('til they made me a political homeless person and the Republicans offered shelter).