By Jug Varner
A lot of interesting sayings come to me from various sources on the Internet. Some are new slants on old adages, some are just funny, some are ironic. I file them in my “Moments of Truth” folder to use as fillers, or for a slow day in the “musing doldrums” - like today.
Here are a few you might enjoy — or re-enjoy, if you've already seen them:
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just have no film.
* Behind every successful man is an astonished mother-in-law.
* Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
* By the time most of us have money to burn, our fire's gone out.
* Dew knot trussed yore spell checker to fined awl your arrows.
* All great discoveries are made by mistake.
* Even Mason and Dixon had to draw the line somewhere.
* Half of conversation is supposed to be the listening.
* If all economists were all laid end to end, they'd point in all directions.
* Hell is not a place. Hell is what it hurts worse than.
* If all cars in the world lined up end to end, some fool would try to pass.
* No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.
* Never let your sense of morality stop you from doing what is right.
* A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
* It is wrong to repeat gossip, but what else can you do with it?
* It is no longer whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
* Knowledge can cure ignorance, but intelligence can't cure stupidity.
* Once you understand the problem, you find it worse than you expected.
* Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
* Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* Live within your income, even if you must borrow to do so.
* Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
* It is often easier to find the truth than to accept it.
* It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.
* No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
* The secret of staying young: Find an age you like and stick with it.
* The secret of success is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
* There is always one more s.o.b. than you counted on.
* What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
* When the old dog barks, better look out the window.
* The best way to save face is to keep the lower half closed.
* You rarely observe a mob rushing across town to do a good deed.
* A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
* Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
* Forgive your enemies — it really bugs them.
* Everyone wants to go to heaven, but not right away.
* An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
* Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter anymore — nobody listens.
* It is impossible to have everything. Where would you put it?
* Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
* Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
* Never have so many people understood so little about so much.