IMMIGRATION ANALOGY

From a letter to the editor. Author unknown.

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country, protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the U.S. might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests:

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, “I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).”

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he, too, is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house, carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest… um, except for… well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me. I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being anti-housebreaker.

Did I miss anything? Does this sound reasonable to you? If it does, grab a sign and go picket something.

If this sounds insane to you, call your senators and enlighten them, because they are stumbling in the darkness right now and really need your help.