YOU MAY BE A REDNECK PILOT… IF

Forwarded by GunshipII@aol.com

YOU MAY BE A REDNECK PILOT…

  • If your stall warning plays “Dixie.”
  • If your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
  • If you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
  • If you've ever used moonshine as aviation gas.
  • If you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
  • If you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
  • If your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
  • If you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
  • If just before impact, you are heard saying, “Hey y'all, watch this!”
  • If you've ever just taxied around the airport, drinking beer.
  • If you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
  • If you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
  • If you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman “Yankee.”
  • If you refer to flying in formation as: “We got ourselves a convoy!”
  • If there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
  • If you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
  • If you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
  • If you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase “That's a big 10-4!”
  • If you typically answer female controllers with titles like “sugar” or “little darlin'.” And if she responds with the words “Honey” or “Big guy” then she may be a redneck, too.
  • If you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
  • If you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
  • If you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide RV.
  • If the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains “Case of Bud.”
  • When you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.