Forwarded by GunshipII@aol.com

YOU MAY BE A REDNECK PILOT…

• If your stall warning plays “Dixie.”
• If your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
• If you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
• If you've ever used moonshine as aviation gas.
• If you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
• If you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
• If your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
• If you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
• If just before impact, you are heard saying, “Hey y'all, watch this!”
• If you've ever just taxied around the airport, drinking beer.
• If you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
• If you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
• If you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman “Yankee.”
• If you refer to flying in formation as: “We got ourselves a convoy!”
• If there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
• If you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
• If you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
• If you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase “That's a big 10-4!”
• If you typically answer female controllers with titles like “sugar” or “little darlin'.” And if she responds with the words “Honey” or “Big guy” then she may be a redneck, too.
• If you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
• If you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
• If you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide RV.
• If the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains “Case of Bud.”
• When you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.