MURPHY’S LESSER KNOWN LAWS
From Bill Thompson
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
- Things that come to those who wait are things left by those who got there first.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.