MURPHY’S LESSER KNOWN LAWS

From Bill Thompson

  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  • If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
  • Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  • The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  • Things that come to those who wait are things left by those who got there first.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.