JUGIGGLES 16

Don’t blame me for these. I merely clean up what others send and pass it along to you.

NEW MATH. Overheard in Washington as a father pointed out a famous building to his son:
“Do you see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That’s the Pentagon.”

COINCIDENCE. Two men sat next to each other at a bar. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.”
“Yes, that I am!” the other responds proudly,
“So am I!” says the first. “And whereabouts from Ireland might you be?”
“I'm from Dublin, I am.”
The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?”
The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”
“Faith, it's a small world, so did I! So did I!! And to what school would you have been going?”
‘Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course.”
Now really excited, the first guy says, “And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?”
“Well now let's see, I graduated in 1964.”
“The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self.”
About this time, one of the regulars walks in and takes a seat at the bar. Brian, the bartender, walks over to her shaking his head and mutters, “It's going to be a long night tonight!”
“Why do you say that, Brian?” she asks.
“The Kelly twins are drunk again.”
Sent by Suzy-Q

LAST WORD. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked, sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

BARGAIN HUNTER. A guy looking for a cheap vacation trip answered an ad in a New Orleans newspaper for a $199 cruise. The office looked sort of seedy, but the man in charge took his money and invited him to go into the anteroom and help himself to a refreshment. An accomplish hit him over the head, knocking him out cold, then threw him in the Mississippi River. When he finally regained consciousness he found himself in the middle of the stream. Soon he bumped into another guy and asked him, “Say, do you know if they serve food on this cruise?” To which the other man replied, “Well, they didn’t yesterday.”

AIR FREIGHT. Three hunters were flown into Canada in search of Moose. Before they left, they had felled two apiece. But, upon return to the aircraft, the pilot told them the plane could only take one moose for each hunter, due to load factor. Otherwise the plane might crash. But the hunters argued for all of their moose trophies and finally prevailed.

The plane barely cleared the end of the runway, wobbled a bit as it tried to gain altitude, but finally crashed. As the hunters crawled out of the debris, one of them said to another, “Say, this looks about like the spot where we crashed last time!”

PURE AND SIMPLE. A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.”

A DETECTIVE STORY (so read it carefully: Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of into the ball park. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely, mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has several innings to go.
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Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
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Think!
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Think some more!!
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You're gonna love it .
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Answer:
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It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded!
Sent by Frieda & Lynn