Forwarded by Susan

• After you reach a certain age happy hour is a nap.
• A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
• Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
• Do you realize that in about 40 years we'll have thousands of old ladies with tattoos?
• Money can't buy happiness, but crying in a Cadillac is more comfortable than in a Yugo.
• Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
• No one ever says, “It's only a game,” when his team is winning.
• No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
• Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
• Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs
• The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
• The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
• To err is human, to forgive — highly unlikely.
• Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?