AIR CONTROL SOLUTION IN DALLAS

From AirBurd

ATC: “Tower to Saudi Air. You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R”
Saudi: “Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised!!”

ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 711. You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R”
Iran: “Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great!!”

Pause: Static

Saudi: (Yelling frantically) “DALLAS ATC!… DALLAS ATC!!!”
ATC: “Go ahead Saudi Air?”

Saudi: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
ATC: “Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us, ya hear?”