Topic: MISCELLANY

AREA CODE ALERT

From Urban Legends

Email alerts circulating since 1996 warn consumers not to comply with telephone, pager, or email requests to dial phone numbers beginning with area codes 809, 284, and 876.

Check it out HERE. [http://urbanlegends.about.com/sitesearch.htm?terms=Area%20code&SUName=urbanlegends&TopNode=3919&type=1target=]



COFFEE FLAVORED SUGAR-FREE DESSERT

From SuzyQ

I know this lady personally, know what a great cook and hostess she can be, and most of all, I like the sense of humor she adds to her inimitable description of how to put it all together.

If you don’t have access to the exact brands she recommends, just go out and buy the most expensive brand you can find that fit’s the description. This lady not only has good taste, but also great respect for quality! Don’t let the Wal-Mart part fool you.

CRUST:

  • 1 package of sugar-free chocolate Graham Crackers (gotta have ‘em). I buy them at Wal-Mart. For some reason they're always on the top shelf in the cookie section.
  • 1 package margarine - to mix with crushed cookies.

FILLING:

  • 1 half-gallon Breyers Triple Chocolate Double Churned sugar-free ice cream. (Actually, it's 1.75 quarts)
  • 1 half-gallon of Breyers Vanilla Double Churned Sugar Free Ice Cream - same as above, 1.75 quarts
  • 1 small bottle of sugar-free Hot Fudge Sauce
  • 1 5.3 oz. can of Nescafe 100% Columbia Taster's Choice Instant Coffee. The reason I use this brand is because the coffee crystals are “chunkier” than most instant coffees.
  • 1 Ghirardelli Intense Dark Espresso Escape chocolate bar - you'll need to take out
    a mortgage to buy it, but it's worth it!
  • 1 Springform pan - or any fairly deep casserole dish will do.

HOW TO:

First of all, pour all the cookies in a large storage bag - or do it in two batches - and BEAT THE HELL out of the cookies. They need to be fairly small pieces, but it just depends on how you feel that day. I use a rolling pin or an empty wine bottle - or my fist.

Then take some soft margarine - maybe a heaping TBSP or two - and mix in with cookie crumbs and pat down in the pan to form the crust.

Then take the softened vanilla ice cream and mix in 1 or 2 TBSP (or more) of the instant coffee. The reason I buy the crunchier type instant coffee is because I like the little bit of “coffee crunch” in mine, but if you want it smooth, then dissolve the coffee in a little bit of water - a VERY little bit - but, hey, as they say out here in the boonies, “hit don't matter.” Put this mixture on top of the cookie crumbs and smooth out over the pan.

At this point, pour (you may need to heat it in microwave first) some hot fudge sauce and/or sprinkle some cookie crumbs on top of this mixture. Then spread the softened Triple Chocolate Ice cream on top of that layer with cookie crumbs, hot fudge sauce or grated coffee flavored chocolate bar.

Or, you can go into the pantry, eat the last three ingredients and forget a topping.

I'm sure we've all made this with a variety of ice cream flavors, toppings, etc. This is just a sugar-free version for all of us coffee nuts. Hey, how 'bout some chopped nuts in the middle or on top?!

Then put it in the freezer and do like I do - forget it is there! Why, oh why do I do that?!

Enjoy!

Jug’s Comment: Despite the “sugar-free” facade, undoubtedly the end product is loaded with calories… but it does sound pretty good, doesn’t it?



FIRE RAINBOW

Forwarded by AirBurd

The story and the photo below are about an atmospheric phenomenon known as a circumhorizon(tal) arc, captured on camera as it hung for about an hour across a several-hundred square mile area of sky above northern Idaho (near the Washington border) on 3 June 2006.

In general, a circumhorizontal arc (or “fire rainbow”) appears when the sun is high in the sky (i.e., higher than 58° above the horizon), and its light passes through diaphanous, high-altitude cirrus clouds made up of hexagonal plate crystals. Sunlight entering the crystals' vertical side faces and leaving through their bottom faces is refracted (as through a prism) and separated into an array of visible colors. When the plate crystals in cirrus clouds are aligned optimally (i.e., with their faces parallel to the ground), the resulting display is a brilliant spectrum of colors reminiscent of a rainbow.

Click on PHOTO [http://www.snopes.com/photos/natural/firerainbow.asp ] to see this Fire Rainbow, thanks to Snopes.



FLASHBACK TO 1903

LIFE IN AMERICA 100 YEARS AGO

Time passes faster than we think, and we take for granted many things that occur in our every day experiences. Some of the following may surprise you in this flash back to America of 1903:

* 47 years was the average life expectancy.
* Less than 15% of the homes had a bathtub.
* Only 8% of the homes had a telephone.
* There were 8,000 cars and 144 miles of paved roads.
* Maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
* The average worker earned about $400 per year.
* California ranked 26th in state population.
* 95% of all babies were born at home.
* 90% of all physicians had no college education.
* Sugar cost 4 cents a pound, eggs were a penny apiece, and coffee cost 15 cents per pound.
* Leading causes of death were influenza, Pneumonia, Tuberculosis,
Diarrhea, Heart disease and Stroke, in that order.
* Our Flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and
Alaska had not been admitted to the Union.
* Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea were unknown.
* The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.
* There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
* 90% of U.S. adults could neither read nor write. Only 6% graduated high school.
* 18% of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic.



FOR MYSTERY LOVERS

PERRY MASON WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD
A true story from the Associated Press, forwarded by JayPMarine

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

“Ordinarily,” DR Mills continued, “someone who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.” That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject “A” but kills subject “B” in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject “B.” Confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded.

The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist.

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.



MIDDLE EAST MYSTERY

Forwarded by LynnFried

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now:

No Jesus.
No Wal-Mart.
No television.
No cheerleaders.
No baseball.
No football.
No basketball.
No hockey.
No golf.
No tailgate parties.
No Home Depot.
No pork BBQ.
No hot dogs.
No burgers.
No lobster.
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks.
No gumbo.
No jambalaya.
More than one wife.
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door who's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
No chocolate chip cookies.
No Girl Scout cookies.
No Christmas.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey, but your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

SO, WHAT’S THE MYSTERY HERE?
God Bless Our Troops



MY BEAUTIFUL AMERICA

From thealamocityguy@gmail.com

For a special treat, click HERE [http://www.oldbluewebdesigns.com/mybeautifulamerica.htm ] and enjoy the wonderful scenery and musical background.

You may need to click on F-11 for the full picture.



NATURE LOVERS: THIS IS FOR YOU

BIRTH OF A HUMMING BIRD
Forwarded by Bill Thompson

A lady found a hummingbird nest and took a series of photographs all the way from the egg to leaving the nest. It took 24 days from birth to flight. This is truly amazing.

Be sure to click on NEXT PAGE at the bottom of each page, there are 5 pages in all. Because you may never have an opportunity to see this again, enjoy and please share.

Now, click on http://community-2.webtv.net/hotmail.com/verle33/HummingBirdNest/ [http://community-2.webtv.net/hotmail.com/verle33/HummingBirdNest/].



QUOTABLES 1

Quotables - Thought For Food

Here are some random quotes offered as “Thought For Food” - mental food to feed the mind and improve one's life.

“God has no hands but our hands and no tongue but our tongue.” -
Annie Johnson Flint

“Courage, hard work, self mastery and intelligent effort are all essential to the successful life. Alike for the nation and the individual, the indispensable requisite is character.” - Theodore Roosevelt

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” - Peace Pilgrim

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” - Melody Beattie.

“I really see no other solution than to turn inward and to root out all the rottenness there. I no longer believe that we can change anything in the world, until we first change ourselves.” - Etty Hillesum



QUOTABLES 2

Quotables - Thoughts For Food

Here are some random quotes offered as “Thoughts For Food” - mental food to feed the mind and improve one's life:

Edmund Burke:
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Barbara Bush:
“Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens inside your house.”

George Eliot:
“Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other?”

Lady Bird Johnson:
“While the spirit of neighborliness was important on the frontier because neighbors were so few, it is even more important now because our neighbors are so many.”

Professor Joseph Olson, Hamline University of Law, St. Paul, MN:
“In the 2000 presidential election:
Population of counties won by Gore 127 million, by Bush 143 million
Sq. miles of country won by Gore 580,000, by Bush 2,427,000
States won by Gore 19, by Bush 29
Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore 13.2, Bush 2.1
And may I add that the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the people of this great country — not the citizens living in cities owned by the government and living off the government.”

Alexander Tyler, Scots Historian Professor, circa 1787, Re: The Fall of the Athenian Republic:
“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.
“The average age of the world's greatest civilization has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence. From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance, from abundance to complacency; from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back into bondage.”



QUOTABLES 3

Quotables - Thought For Food

Here are some random quotes offered as “Thoughts For Food” - mental food to feed the mind and improve one's life.

GOVERNMENT & POLITICS

Artist Edward Langley:
     ”What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.”

Civil Libertarian P. J. O'Rourke:
     ”Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

     ”If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.”

George Bernard Shaw:
     ”A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”

G. Gordon Liddy:
     ”A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”

Humorist Mark Twain:
     ”Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress …but I repeat myself.”

     ”The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”

     ”There is no distinctly native American criminal class, save Congress.”

Humorist Will Rogers:
     ”I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

President Ronald Reagan:
     ”Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

     ”The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.”

Voltaire:
     ”In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.”

Winston Churchill:
     ”We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle”

     ”The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.”



RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE
  • Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos — you never know what's going to burn your butt.
  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  • Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
  • Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't need them again.
  • I don't have an attitude problem - you have a perception problem.
  • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, ” Where is the ceiling?”
  • On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  • I don't suffer from stress - I am a carrier.
  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
  • Be careful — a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the rear.
  • Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
  • Ring the bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself.
  • What should you give a man who has everything? - A woman to show him how to work it.
  • How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap.


SEEING IS BELIEVING

Forwarded by Charlie, GunshipII@aol.com

Most of us have flown a kite, but we may never have seen anything to match the beauty and eloquence of this kite flying sequence.

Ray Bethell is a multiple kite world champion and world record holder. The Blue Angels and the Thunderbird aerobatic teams are good, but this guy is beyond good.

Turn up the sound for the musical background (Flower Duet, by Leo Delibes) - so appropriate for Bethel’s tempo and artistry of the flight sequence, photographed by Robert Holbrook.

You will have fun watching THIS [http://www.kitelife.com/videos/demo/bethell_promo.htm ]… again and again.

If so, you may want to visit HERE [http://www.kitelife.com ] as well.



SHAME ON YOU, MICHAEL MOORE

By Michael Niewodowski, niewodowski123@yahoo.com [mailto:niewodowski123@yahoo.com]
Former Chef, World Trade Center's Windows of the World Restaurant
Forwarded by 1stAdmPAO

From Here to EternityTora, Tora, Tora In Harm's Way. These are three films made about Pearl Harbor. There have been more than 20 films made about Pearl Harbor, and over 200 films made about World War II. These films inspire patriotism, courage, and nationalism. They tell us about the honor and bravery of the soldiers and the nation that supported them. Two and a half years after the attack on Pearl Harbor, the world watched American forces fight on D-Day.

Two and a half years after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the world is watching Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. Moore's film is the first major motion picture about Sept. 11, 2001. This bears repeating. When future generations look back on the Sept. 11 massacre, their first impression, through the medium of film, will be a work in which the president and the government are blamed for the attacks, and the soldiers who are protecting this country are defamed.

Instead of a film version of Lisa Beamer's book, Let's Roll, or Richard Picciotto's Last Man Down, we are presented with this fallacy. How could this happen?

It would be a colossal insult to insinuate that Franklin D. Roosevelt or the U.S. government were in any way responsible for the attacks on Pearl Harbor. Can you imagine the indignation of the men and women who lived during that period?

Fahrenheit 9/11 is indicative of a nation that has become too apathetic, ignorant or deceived to face the enemy at the gate. America, where is your fury?

On Sept. 11, 2001, I stood across the Hudson River, watching the Twin Towers burn, knowing that if the plane had struck at 9:46 a.m. instead of 8:46 a.m., I would be dead. As a survivor and witness to the attack on the World Trade Center, I am more than insulted by this film. I am outraged.

This film is based on conjecture, hearsay and propaganda. At a time when this country desperately needs to rally in support of our brave soldiers and our strong leaders, Moore is content to spread discord and divisiveness. The base of his argument is that the Bush administration had strong ties with the bin Laden family. However, sound facts are conspicuously absent from this “documentary.”

The 9/11 commission did not indict President Bush. According to the report, the president's actions before, during and after the attacks are fully justified, including the military action in Iraq. The commission did not find a direct link between Saddam Hussein's Iraq and the Sept.11 terrorist attacks. A similar commission in the 1940s would not have found a direct link between Hitler's Germany and the attack on Pearl Harbor. In both instances, the threat was imminent; the president and the military acted decisively.

Could we have been more prepared for a terrorist attack on Sept. 10, 2001? Certainly. Could we have been more prepared for an attack on Dec. 6, 1941? Most definitely. In the weeks and months following Pearl Harbor, there were reports and criticisms that the government and military should have been more prepared. The difference is that the people of the nation did not waste a lot of time pointing fingers at each other. Rather, they unified and engaged the enemy head-on. I guess that is why we call them “The Greatest Generation.”

How will future generations refer to us? How do we explain Moore's film to future generations? I wonder.

More than that, I wonder how I would explain this film to Nancy D., Jerome N. or Heather H. I am sure you don't know their names, but their faces haunt me day and night. How would I explain to them that a film was made accusing the president and vilifying the soldiers, the same president and soldiers who are attempting to avenge their murders and protect other citizens?

Moore has not only insulted the nation, he has insulted the victims of the terrorist attacks. During his acceptance speech at the Oscars, Moore said, “Shame on you, Mr. Bush.”

Well, I say, “Shame on you, Michael Moore.” Shame on everyone who supports this travesty of a film. Shame on a society that allows this sham of a film. You have weakened the nation.”



SOUNDS LOGICAL TO ME

THE WHY AND WHEREFOR
Forwarded by BamaNanDog. Original source unknown.

Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses? In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called “passing the buck”? In card games, it was once customary to pass an item called a “buck” from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility, he would “pass the buck” to the next player.

Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast? It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would then touch or clink the host's glass with is own.

Why are people in the public eye said to be “in the limelight”? Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theater, performers on stage “in the limelight” were seen by the audience to be the center of attention.

Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use “mayday” as their call for help? This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning “help me” - and is pronounced “mayday,”

Why is someone who is feeling great “on cloud nine”? Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Why are Zero scores in tennis called “love”? In France, where tennis first became popular, a big, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called “l'oeuf,” which is French for “egg”. When tennis was introduced in the U.S, Americans pronounced it “love.”

Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs? Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense, orange clay called “pygg”. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as “pygg banks.” When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

Why are they called “Caddies”? When Mary, later Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl (for education and survival), Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot's game of golf. So he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. When Mary returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. The French the word “cadet” - pronounced 'ca-day' - became “caddie” on the Scots' tongue.

Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches, while pennies and nickels do not? The U.S. Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because maids dressed wealthy women, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. And that's where women's buttons have remained since.



STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

Forwarded by William T.

Unlike David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, these could be labeled Stupid Human Tricks.

Wonder whose picture was on those? Police in Wichita, Kansas arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two $16 bills.

Target malpractice. A Johannesburg, South Africa man shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

Hopeless heister. A young bank teller, new to the job, was approached by her first robber. Noticing that the man's grammar was not the greatest, the teller figured that the man was slow-witted. She told him that he had to have an account to rob a bank. Disappointed, the would-be robber left empty-handed.

Broken record. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

Who would be left to prosecute? In California, the Chico City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

Asleep on the job. A criminal who broke into a couple's house started to take the TV, but instead, turned it on and began to watch. He supposedly liked the program and lay down on the bed. It was at night, he was tired, and fell asleep. When the couple came home the next day they found him and called the police.

Opportunity knocked. In St. Louis, a car hit a bus carrying five passengers. By the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and complaining about “whiplash injuries and back pain.”

Oops… sorry! Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Slow get-away. A Providence, Rhode Island hijacker knocked-out an armored car driver and stole four bags of money. The bags contained $800 dollars, but weighed thirty pounds each since they all contained pennies. The hefty bags soon slowed the fleeing criminal to a sluggish stagger. Police easily ran down and arrested the exhausted suspect.

Clever, but stupid. A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him after he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen during the lunch hour.

Lie detector. Radnor, Pennsylvania police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He's lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

Call the police. When two Ionia, Michigan service station attendants refused to hand over cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was promptly arrested.



SURFING THE INTERNET

By Jug Varner

CHECK OUT THESE LINKS

There are so many Web sites on the Internet that one wonders if there would ever be time (and interest) enough to find them all. I will share a few I have seen that you may find of interest to you.

I ran this as a series a couple of years ago, but have consolidated it into one article and am sending it again as a revised single:

This site offers good information for those contemplating ADOPTION [http://naic.acf.hhs.gov ] of children.

Price guide provides fair market values for literally thousands of items for the CONSUMER [http://www.strongnumbers.com/ ].

If you wonder about the impact studying may have on prison inmates, click EDUCATION [http://www.changingminds.ws/ ].

Locate festivals in your home state, other states or places world-wide at FESTIVALS [http://www.festivals.com/ ].

Recipes of all types are provided and rated by readers. If you are into cooking, check out this FOOD [http://www.allrecipes.com ] site.

Want to travel or live abroad? Click on FOREIGN COUNTRIES [http://www.travel.state.gov/ ] first.

A definitive source of information for ant colony enthusiasts awaits you at HOBBY [http://www.antcolony.com/ ].

Aptly named Netiquette, this site covers proper decorum and use of the Internet. Each of us could do everyone else a favor by checking it out and abiding by its INTERNET RULES [http://www.albion.com/netiquette ].

Here are some of the original names of celebrities before they became famous PEOPLE [http://www.famousnamechanges.com/ ].

Are you looking for a site devoted exclusively to finding memorable local eateries along the highways and byways of America? Then click on ROAD FOOD [http://www.roadfood.com/ ]. Bon appetite!

Are you quick on the draw? Check your REFLEX [http://www.happyhub.com/network/reflex/ ] time here.

This ultimate research tool lets you compare a wide variety of STUFF [http://www.compare-stuff.com/ ].

Commercial advertising during the annual Super Bowl is among the most expensive on TV. Here is a collection of such ads with other interesting SPORTS [http://www.superbowl-ads.com ] data.

A network of operation centers, providing highly accurate and comprehensive traffic updates focused on incidents and events across the nation, makes this a good place for travelers to pre-check the TRAFFIC [http://www.traffic.com ].

Before you go to the nation‘s capital, especially if you are not totally familiar with the area, you will benefit by some good information at WASHINGTON DC [http://www.exploredc.com ].



THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY BOYS

By an anonymous Mother, Austin, TX
Forwarded by AlabamaNanDog

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age - this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children - this is birth control.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. Using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit, but a ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. Glass in windows (even double-pane) won't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh” - it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids



THOSE WERE THE DAYS

I may sound as if I am grasping at straws for a story here, but did you ever wonder why Wednesday is pronounced WENS-DAY, instead of WED-NES-DAY? And where the heck did the originator of the word come up with it?

Or do you even care?

Well I'm going to tell you anyhow and if you keep reading I'll expose the entire week to those of you who never even thought about why each day is so-named.

WEDNESDAY is derived from the Old English word Wodnesdæg or Woden's day. Woden was a god corresponding to Odin, the supreme deity of the Scandinavians.

THURSDAY comes from the Scandinavian name Thor, the god of thunder.

FRIDAY is the Icelandic derivative of Frigu+daeg. Frigu was the goddess of marriage and the wife of Odin or Woden.

SATURDAY is a bit more straightforward: It comes from Old English word Saterday, literally Saturn's day.

SUNDAY relates to the Anglo Saxon sunnandaeg, the sun+daeg, because this day was anciently dedicated to the sun, or to its worship.

MONDAY is from Old English moon day, day of the moon, day sacred to the moon.

TUESDAY is from another god: Tiw, the god of war. The Old English word evolved as Tiw's day, and eventually became Tuesday.

There you have it in the briefest form possible. Each one is more complicated than what I boiled it down to, but I knew if I didn't keep it simple, I would never get you as far as this paragraph.

So memorize these for future use. There may be a test later on.



THREE TIME LOSER

By Charlie Daniels
Forwarded by MajGen Dave Gray, USAF (Ret.)

I saw a three time loser the other day. Well I actually didn't see the person but I parked next to the car they were driving. It had three stickers on it - a Kerry Edwards sticker, an anti-Christian sticker and a bumper sticker that read something like, “I'll be so glad when the schools get all the money they need for education and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber”.

Loser number one: We all know what happened to the Kerry Edwards ticket.

Loser number two: Some day soon this person's head will bow and his knee will bend in honor of the one he chooses to make fun of.

Loser number three: The naiveté of some people is absolutely beyond belief. If we operated in this country for one day, just one day, the way these people want us to, we would cease to exist.

Without a well armed, ever-vigilant military, the United States of America would go down in history as the greatest but dumbest country the world has ever known. We didn't have sense to protect what we had.

If America is such a bad place why don't you try driving your little car down the streets of Riyadh Saudi Arabia with a sticker promoting anything but the currant mullah powered government - one that says something derogatory about Mohammed, and one that says that the revolutionary army shouldn't have the arms it needs?

Just do that, and see how long it takes for some psycho zealot Muslim to shove a stick of dynamite up your tailpipe.

I also see signs that say, Ban Nuclear Bombs - which I think is a dandy idea if we can just get one of you people to go over to North Korea and talk that little guy with the funny hair into getting rid of his.

And then you could talk Pakistan and India into junking their nuclear arsenal and Iran or Russia. If you could just do that one little task and come up with a way where we can insure that they will never make another nuclear device, I'll join you in your effort.

Until that time I think that America had better hang on to its nukes, and I think we'd better give the Air Force all the bombers and fighter planes it needs to protect the nation and fight our wars.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think these are bad people who have these far out ideas, I just think they're naïve and need a daily dose of reality in their lives.

We live in a world that can change overnight. How would you like to wake up one morning to find that we'd had another 9-11 style terror attack and find out that the Air Force was going to be able to protect our skies just as soon as it sold a few more chocolate layer cakes?

Ridiculous? So is your bumper sticker.

Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America.
Charlie Daniels



TSUNAMI GRAPHIC

Forwarded by Dick Blaisdell

Here is an excellent graphic explanation of what happened on December 26, 2004, where the tsunami started, how it spread and the countries most affected.

Click here or copy into your browser: http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/world/04/tsunami/swf/tsunami.swf?path=/nol/shared/spl/hi/world/04/tsunami/ [http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/world/04/tsunami/swf/tsunami.swf?path=/nol/shared/spl/hi/world/04/tsunami/]



WISDOM IN A NUTSHELL

Here is a small compendium of wise sayings you may find worthy of adding to your storehouse of treasures:

  • Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz
  • A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. - Frank Capra
  • All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable; those who are movable; and those who move. - Ben Franklin
  • All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing. - Edmond Burke
  • A problem well stated is a problem half-solved. - Charles Kettering
  • Bad-mouthing competition is a reflection on you, not on them. - Anonymous
  • Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller
  • Common sense is genius dressed in working clothes. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
    *Dreams are only foolish to those who lack them. - Peter Reese
  • Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. - Frank Leahy
  • Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke
  • Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. - Theodore Roosevelt
  • Feelings of inferiority and superiority are the same. They both come from fear. - Dr. Robert Anthony
  • Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good things grow. - Anonymous
  • Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't; and a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Anonymous
  • I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. - Michelangelo
  • It is amazing how much you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. - Harry Truman
  • It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem. - Charles Kettering
  • Keep yourself happy - and tell your face. - Anonymous
  • Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Theresa
  • Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye
  • Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers
  • Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. - Anonymous
  • Management by objectives works if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't. - Peter Drucker
  • Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. - Winston Churchill
  • Never confuse motion with action. - Earnest Hemmingway
  • Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin
  • Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand. - George Eliot
  • Obstacles are the things a person sees when he takes his eye off his goal. - Joseph Cossman
  • One should count each day a separate life. - Seneca
  • One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning. - James Russell Lowell
  • Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. - English Proverb
  • Plans get you into things, but you've got to work your way out. - Will Rogers
  • Practice is nine-tenths. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
  • Sharpen your viewpoint on what's truly important; and keep everything else a blur. - Rachael Snydon
  • Slaying the dragon of delay is no sport for the short-winded. - Sandra Day O'Connor
  • Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, “What's in it for me?” - Brian Tracy
  • Talent is wanting something bad enough to work for it. - Anonymous
  • The best way to save face is to keep the lower part of it shut. - Nathan Matteson
  • The displacement of a little sand can change occasionally the course of deep rivers. - Manuel Gonzalez Prada
  • The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. - Hada Bejar
  • The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter Drucker
  • There is no security on this earth. There is only opportunity. - Gen. Douglas MacArthur
  • The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The secret to good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. - Anonymous
  • The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention. - Larry Eisenberg
  • Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the reason why so few engage in it. - Henry Ford
  • To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe. - Marilyn Vos Savant
  • To treat your facts with imagination is one thing, but to imagine your facts is another. - John Boroughs
  • Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. - W. Clement Stone
  • Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein
  • Waste not fresh tears over old griefs. - Euripides
  • We cannot hold a torch to another's path without brightening our own. - Ben Sweetland
  • We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip little by little at a truth we find bitter. - Dennis Diedrot
  • What people say behind your back is your standing in the community in which you live. - Edgar Watson Howe
  • What you do everyday should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn't, why are you doing it? - Don Hutcheson
  • Whenever you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. - Harry Truman
  • When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the image of the first. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Words should be weighed, not counted. - Yiddish Proverb
    *Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. - Sholem Asch
  • You know more of the road by having traveled it than by all the conjectures and descriptions in the world. - William Hazlitt
  • Your actions are the picture book of your creeds. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


WORLD’S MOST SUCCESSFUL MEN

Forwarded by AirBurd

In the 1920s:

  • Charles Schwab was president of the largest steel company. He died a pauper.
  • Edward Hopson was president of the largest gas company. He went insane.
  • Richard Whitney was president of the NYSE. After release from prison, he died at home.
  • Arthur Cooger was the greatest wheat speculator. He died abroad, penniless.
  • The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.
  • The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their day.

However:

In 1923, the PGA Champion and winner of the most important golf tournament, the U.S. Open, was Gene Sarazen. What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The moral of this story? Forget work. Play golf!